Bennett Facts (TM)

  1. Bennett is a sometimes vegan who eats lots of non-animal foods, but the duty cycle is less than 100%.
  2. Bennett used to evangelize veganism a bit.
  3. Bennett thinks it's a little odd to call yourself a "thought leader."
  4. Bennett doesn't know if an iPad has vibrate alert??
  5. Bennett is very capable of mocking children by typing like them.
  6. Obama Will Not Get Away With a Syria Strike On Bennett's Watch.
  7. When Bennett has a few minutes to wait and can sit down, he gets work done.
  8. People would be happier if they did as Bennett does.
  9. Bennett has been known to play wild cards in the Middle East poker game.
  10. Bennett is immune to the Canadian border.
  11. Woody Allen, Shakespeare, Beethoven and Da Vinci look up to Bennett.
  12. Being devotional to Bennett will blow your mind and flush your chakras.
  13. Bennett doesn't like the Rolling Stones because he IS the Rolling Stones.
  14. Bennett is a firm believer in eagles and the fourth of July.
  15. Bennett once saved the Queen from a flying Buddhist monk [like a boss].
  16. Bennett forgave Paula Deen for all mankind.
  17. Bennett invented miracles.
  18. Bennett inspired Eckhart Tolle’s Evolutionary Activism.
  19. Bennett once turned Ron Paul's head the color red.
  20. Bennett and Vladamir Putin ocasionally play shirtless in an enchanted forest with wild bears.
  21. Bennett worked with significant payoffs for the CIA in Angola in 1984, and in Zimbabwe in the following year.
  22. Bennett is in favor of the "Women Wearing Yogapants in Public" movement.
  23. Bennett and Jerry Seinfeld share the passion of creating Japanese cricket cages.
  24. Bennett believes that dash-cams are ideal for recording that moment when a HUGE DAMN METEOR comes streaking over your city.
  25. Bennett and Joe Rogan are bros.
  26. Bennett teaches children who wear t-shirts with dog screenprints to meditate in Africa.
  27. Bennett believes that ducks are the new dogs.
  28. In Bennett's vision, Taliban soldiers resemble stuffed animals.
  29. Bennett used a shrink ray on Kim Jong Il and created Kim Jong Un. This was regarded as a bad move by Dennis Rodman.
  30. Bennett is the only man on Earth authorized to recieve sex tips from the Pope.
  31. Silicon atoms can detect Bennett from space.